What Comes Around - Goes Around!!

Yesterday I got my life back!
Without going into too much detail, back in 1999 I ended a relationship and it almost cost me my life. I had spent 5 years with a man that was manipulative, conning, abusive and controlling beyond belief. The biggest problem was that he was turning me into a person almost afraid of my own shadow, pulling me away from friends and whittling me down to a person I no longer knew. My self confidence was gone, my ability to think or make a decision on my own was taken away from me and I spent every day falling deeper and deeper into a pit of self-worthlessness. In 5 years I didn't even realize what this person was doing to me! Then one day by the grace of God I woke up and with all the strength I had left - I told him the relationship was over. What I thought was a 5 year nightmare was nothing compared to what was going to happen next and how it would effect the rest of my life, my being and my soul. I was suppose to die that night! Thanks to a number of very concerned people at my work - they did not allow me to return home that night. That is the only thing that saved my life!! My house became the barracks to a psychopath/sociopath (of which he was later diagnosed by OPP behaviour specialists) with an arsenal of loaded guns and my beautiful german shepherd shot to death point blank and half buried in my front yard. My work had sustained thousands of dollars of damage from him taking my car and driving it through garages tearing down walls looking for me. He later totalled my car further by running it off the road. All the furniture in my house was stacked up in the center with all the windows opens (this was November). His plan was to shoot me in our bed, light the house on fire, lay down beside me and pull the loaded shotgun out that he had hidden under the mattress and kill himself. It was a murder/suicide in the making.

For the next eight years I feared for my life, I learned what criminal court was all about, I learned what the family legal system was all about, I fought for my home, I fought for my safety and I fought every day not to let him continue to control my life in fear. And I did this all the time while he lived in a house right around the corner from me.

I am so happy to say that my struggle is finally ended. My life became normal yesterday for the first time in 13 years.

He died yesterday of a massive heart attack!

I never have to worry again about walking my dog down any road, I never have to look over my shoulder again, I can kayak on any part of the lake and not worry if I am in shotgun range, I don't have to sleep with the heavy end of a pool cue beside my bed, I don't have to worry if someone is lurking in the bushes around the house watching me, I never have to be afraid of being alone in my house or alone anywhere anymore.....and my Dad doesn't have to sleep with a baseball bat under his bed anymore either.

I forgot what freedom felt like. I forgot what it was like to live life - to really LIVE life. I had no idea until yesterday just how much that monkey actually weighed on my back. I STILL had no idea until yesterday what it felt like to be ME again.

Yesterday I got my life back!