It's All or Nothing.....

My great friends beg of me to "keep it simple". And I try.....I really do try. But something inevitably comes over me somewhere between sim & ple and I have to don my superwoman cape and take off to greater heights conquering my last feat. This "self-proclaimed" superhero phenomenon rears its head unexpectedly and battles relentlessly and constantly with one villain, one worst enemy......HERSELF. Yep that's right, I am my own worst enemy. However I refuse to take all the blame! There has to be some kind of "handicap", "gimme", or just some sort of lei-way due to the fact that I am a product of "Jane". Aaaaaaaah, it scares the hell outta me just to say it. I'm convinced that somewhere at MY beginning of time, some genes must have got screwed up and processed the big "All or Nothing", or "Go Big or Go Home" philosophy into my minuscule little brain. Betcha when I was floating around Jane's belly and she decided to have that beer and smoke I waved my hands in the air, shook my but and screamed, I love this shit. And that's when the beginning of All or Nothing came to fruition........makes sense eh?
So here I am again in another All or Nothing predicament.......a "nothing simple" scenario.......
They say that you should never attempt to lose weight and quit smoking at the same time - let alone throw in the promise to get ripped in 90 days. It's just too damn hard and you set yourself up for failure. Well being the absolute heaviest I've ever been and deciding to quit smoking is a very scary task on its own. I can't put anymore weight on or I am going to be in really big (and I mean BIG) trouble. So what do I do.....I go for the All or Nothing Program. I quit smoking and I go on a strict diet (well as strict as I can get it). I am still working up to the get ripped in 90 days strenuous exercise portion of my All or Nothing Program - but I'm hanging in there. Well I have started doing alot more walking with my dog since his doctor gave me shit too. I'm as miserable as Jane on menopause, I'm as mean as Jane on menopause but I'm determined, I'm as determined as Jane hoping she'd catch us doing something illegal. (How we've ever hid from that one, I have no idea.) It's been 9 days - no smoking, no brownies and I'm now going to add another schedule to my schedule, I'm getting my teeth whitened. I'm hoping the mouth guard comes with a strap that securely fastens behind my head, perhaps even locking my hands into it - kinda like a muzzle/straight jacket all in one deal. It'll be perfect, it'll prevent me from eating, smoking and more importantly, biting anyone that pisses me off on a per minute basis.....